You know that feeling...

When you finally figured out everything? You see, I've actually been going through this "Who Am I" phase, and I realize that the reason why I felt so unhappy was because I didn't exactly know who I really was. I'd easily let what other people say get to my head- and I'd think that's who I was. But truth its been said before, what other people say about you doesn't not necessarily mean that that is who you are.

And its such a good feeling, to finally let go and get rid of what other people say and what other people think. It's such a good feeling to finally be comfortable with your own shoes and not trying to please others for them just to like you.

I can't describe it. But there's this full surge of energy seeping through me, and I feel more whole and complete now.

I've finally got it all figured out...

I couldn't be happier.

Castle on a Cloud- Song Analysis

When you first listen to a song, you don't fully grasp the whole entire message of it. It's hard to feel what the person is feeling when they are sing the lyrics, because it's so hard to get a good vision of it inside you're head.

The first time I heard the song Castle on a Cloud was from my voice coach. It had been my second song after Tomorrow from Annie, and it had been my piece all year round. I didn't understand most of the lyrics. I didn't get what was up with Castle on a Cloud, I used to think, the heck how could a castle even float there?

But  I remember liking that song very much. It reminded me of my mom when she'd whisper "I love you" in my ears every night before going to bed. - That's what I imagined every time I sung that song. That's how I could relate and understand it.

So I guess that's how I first interpreted the lyrics. I used to thinking that the lines in the song were referring to Fantine. But the more and more I keep on listening to the song, and being submerged into a week of prayer and worship over the Holy Week, I began to think that the  reference- Castle on a Cloud could mean, "Heaven" and "There is a lady all in white" is not her mother Fantine, but the ultimate mother of all of us - Mary- who is always there for us in times when we are clouded over in darkness or misfortune, When we are troubled and filled with doubt. When we are in knee deep need of help in our lives. In this literal case, Cosette was going through a tough time when her mother left her alone to be under the care of the Thenardiers. And we all know how ill they had treated her. And every time she closes her eyes and dreams, she's dreaming that she's up in Heaven with Mother Mary holding her and consoling her. Not Fantine.

I don't know if this were the song writers intentions, but THAT is how I interpret it.  It's kind of like my version of how I understand it. Looking at a new perspective   It's only now that I full get a grasp of what it truly means.

Holiness is a virtue; But condemning others is not.

So I came across this particular passage in Like The Flowing River- now I know I said I won't try to spoil the contents, but this passage is really relatable to today's religion and society. I thought I would share it with anyone who reads this blog.

The title of the chapter was "These Are My Friends" I wonder if he was thinking about Sondhiem or Sweeney Todd in relation to one of the songs in there- Moving on. It was a very short chapter, no more than two to three or maybe one paragraph. Like I have mentioned before in my review about Like The Flowing River, it's an easy read, with very short chapters. The longest chapter in the book only lasts four pages! But it's still very insightful.

Here's that particular chapter:

'The reason the king is so powerful is because he's made a pact with the Devil.' A very devout woman in the street told the boy, and he was intrigued. 

Some time later, when he was travelling to another town. the boy heard a man beside him remark: 
All this land belongs to the same man. I'd say the Devil had a hand in that.'
Late one summer afternoon, a beautiful woman walked past the boy.
'That woman is in the service of Satan!' cried a preacher angrily.

From then on, the boy decided to seek the Devil out, and when he found him, he said:
'They say you can make people powerful, rich, and beautiful.'
'Not really.' replied the Devil. 'You've just been listening to the views of those who are trying to promote me.' 
Very thought provoking don't you think? Here's something that I grasped while reading it; stop thinking ill of others. To say that one is starting to work for the Devil doesn't make you holy. It only makes you more of a devil worshiper than they are. 

My Inner Geek | In The World of Fandoms: Frodo/Hermione

CALLING ALL SHIPPERS!

 So I was listening to this song by Snow Patrol (Which just so happens to be one of my favorite bands) called Make This Go On Forever,  I came across this really random video on youtube on the recommended for you section. The video was a video representing the plausible pairing of Hermione  and Frodo.

Here's the video:

Now, if you're familiar with the geek terms in fandoms like me; You'd be familiar with what an AU pairing is all about. An AU or Alternate Universe is when a particular fan- (like myself) comes up with a completely impossible pairing- impossible because the two characters being paired up together is most likely never to happen- due to the fact that the script writer or director may never come to think of it- or simply because the two both belong to completely different works of fiction.

Now, I don't particularly appreciate or favor this simply because of the OOC: Out of character factor. But this was just purely one of the best I've seen in a long time. It was beautifully edited, The scenes from two separate movies really make it seem as if Hermione and Frodo were really actually there together with one another- and the video maker only used the last two stansas of the song, where most of the melody could really be found. And it fit just perfectly! 

To be honest with you, there are times when I prefer ship pairings rather than canon. And now I can't stop imagining these two together- and don't get me wrong, I'm a huge Ron Weasley fan but if ever they're paths have crossed it would have made a beautiful love story. In a way, Frodo is good for Hermione. In a way, this pairing is almost like the Harry/Hermione that never happened.

I do recommend you watch this vid. Despite the fact it's only a few minutes but it does give you the feels.

P.S.
To be honest, I absolutely don't know why I had just made a post about this... I regret nothing. 

Praise for Paolo Coehlo's Like The Flowing River

I know. I'm probably super late with this one. This has probably been around before I was even born. In fact, Most definitely, there's a pdf file for it  online- but I choose to buy books instead of downloading them- not for piracy reasons, despite the fact I am against piracy- its not the main reason as to why I refuse to download files online.

It's simply because I have this obsession for books, just as much as I do for notebooks. The smell of book paper just seems to arouse me more than  any other branded men perfume being sold in the markets. - Boys take note. (LOL!)

One fact about me is that I don't normally tend to stick to bandwagons. The current trend book I read was the  Hunger Games - And I've hardly gotten passed Catching Fire, and barely touched Mockingjay. To this day, I haven't even opened a single Harry Potter book, which I'm only familiar with because I've watched the movies and google the web for unfamiliar terms.  And the LOTR series- except maybe the Hobbit, which is also far from halfway done as well.

 I actually have Brida and The Alchemist with me- and I still haven't read them. Yup. Definitely early signs of being a hoarder. But as my pile of books continue to grow, I just had to purchase two books of his-  I have no idea why I did so, but for some odd reason, as I saw this book being displayed in National Bookstore, I sort of felt this gravitational pull towards it. It was as if the universe was actually telling me, "The answers to you're questions lie in this book. Get it. Now!"

 And so I did. I also got another book. The second one is The Manuscript Found in Accra, I'm filliping through back and fourth with them, but Like The Flowing River seems to strike me more. I've only read six chapters of this book, and already, I've been so hooked. It's a light read, compared to most of his works- as I've been told- And most of his reflections only last a page but its still very  thought provoking. I'd rather read his reflections than a draggy forty five minutes priests sermon that tends to go completely off topic during Sunday mass.

I guess it all just comes with age. Now that I am older, I seem to appreciate works of real life events rather than fiction. I have little bit of more patience to read long texts, understand the big words he uses, And get bigger perspective understanding what he's trying to relay. In fact, his introduction on what makes a writer has only made me more certain that I want it to be my profession rather than singing. This book has officially become a guidebook to me. I don't want to spoil the contents, because it's worth the read. This is the book I'll definitely read over and over again.

Going Under a Style Reinvention for 2013

Finally. My second post for this blog is up. May be made with haste since the first two are still very much introductory portions before I actually get into writing. But I wanted to post this thought up here, rather than my journal, because it seemed more "blog" worthy material than being written on a page- My poor poor barely used journal is going to get neglected due to this blog. I can just tell.

Anyway... This particular month, I've made a full pledge to myself that I'm not trying out any phases anymore. I'm basically going to stick to what works for me, and my current age as well. I'm eighteen now, soon to be nineteen coming this September 3rd, and I need to let go of the kiddy vibe a bit and start dressing my age- A not too old and not too young look is what I'm aiming for.  I've always been drawn to the ways Parisian girls dress effortlessly and Audrey Hepburn is my ultimate fashion icon. Jennifer Lawrence is another mainly because we almost have the same body type - (And it's kind freaky how we practically have the same measurements in real life- besides the height and all. It's almost like she's my doppleganger)


And since it's currently summer, I'm shedding off the dark and grey in my wardrobe and opting for some lighter shades. But I'm also trying to cut down on expenses and trying to take my dad's advice to save up for future use. Who knows maybe there's something in my closet that I haven't worn in years that could be perfect for this hot summer. Here's to another post to keep updated for.

AND BEFORE I FORGET- Happy Easter Everyone!

Because We All Have To Start From Somewhere.

To be honest, sometimes I don't know why I even bother- you know, making things such as blogs. I never really valued the idea of showing you're thoughts to the world wide web. I always find owning blogs a bit of nuisance. Let's just say, I'm the writer of solitude type. I'm not exactly comfortable with people actually viewing what I write. I never liked it when people would snoop through my journal. And I get squeamish whenever someone reads my writing in front of me. I'm one of those people who find writing about themselves a little bit- no scratch that- too narcissistic. I'd rather keep the  thoughts that go round in my head to myself and actually make use of those unused overflowing pile of notebooks that I have at home- early signs of being a horder I know. Which is why I need to curve this habit of consuming notebooks. [But I can't help it. They're just so pretty.]

So again, my practical thinking asks me, Why? In the first place, A blog is like a biography or autobiography. No one would really bother to pick up that biography of someone unless you were the current president of the United States or a famous Oscar nominated actor-etc.etc.  I've never done anything great. Heck, In the song Don't Rain on My Parade, I'm definitely just "A freckle on the nose of life's complexion"  So why would anyone even bother to read about my opinions? I'm just a young Filipina & artist - girl who going on this life changing journey that's still very much having trouble figuring who she is and what she wants in life. Its a been there seen that kind of plot. So why bother?

But like I have mentioned, I'm an artist at heart. There will always be this side of me that will want to express myself whatever way possible. And most of the time, that artist self of mine always seems to get that inspiration to start something- and wins over that practical side of me. Especially after this long break from school, I have recently been hit by this massive big wall of inspiration. Or its like my dormant muse, who I thought had finally retired had decided to come back from vacation, and has finally given me some creative juices to actually start being creative. or doing all the other things I love again. For me; whenever you do get this surge of inspiration, don't you feel like you just want to shout it out to the whole world?

So there. I guess that sort of explains why I wanted to start my own blog. To take a break from being the self contained, brooding writer in the lone corner and live life a little bit more. However, that's still not going to change my geekish/dorkish ways.

I'll end this introductory post here. What do they say when they say goodbye on blogs- GTG, Sayonara, Adios, TTFN?

Yeah... This will definitely take some getting used to.